I have come to realise it is in my nature to mentally ignore my emotions while my body takes em on at full force. Heart ache converts to horniness, anxiety to relentless stomach pains, apprehension into poor co ordination.
Today I am a mixture of all of these. Until now consuming food was undesirable and my sexual frustration peaked with me going for three runs in the rain. I hate running.
Why? Because I always fuck things up. I begin to like something, actually begin to hope and then I fuck it up in anyway I can.
This time it was head in a toilet, ass up, poorly dressed, nervous and fugly fucking up.
I despise myself.
Now excuse me as I take my horny, in pain tripping over everything self back to work.

I'm going to buy a cat.