Realization number one

I was brought up in a generation who was told they could be anything, each one of us a unique snowflake destined to be whatever we desired... Our youthful minds couldn't even comprehend the truth which no one eluded to. After all wouldn't check out chicks, cleaners and prostitutes still exist once we matured. None the less even as we grew to learn the truth our core belief we were destined for greater things stood strong, slowly it became those who did not finish school who would fill those positions in our minds, those who did not go to university. Never did it cross our minds whilst working two jobs and completing a degree that perhaps just perhaps there was a mundane existence in our futures too.
I remember at fifteen having this fire in my soul which made me light up thinking about my future on my fuchsia bed spread late into the night. I always believed, no I knew I would make a difference. I counted down everyday until the end of high school nervously awaiting news I had been accepted into university to become a nurse, finally the day came. University baffled me, I lost weight, suffered anxiety attacks, took up smoking, barely passed the theory and bluffed my way through practicals. Pre readings for class were never done and my eyes hung heavy managing three nights a week of dance, three days a week of work and five days of university studies often waking at 5:30am to take the two hour trip to my early lectures. Against all odds and with little social support I struggled through three years abusing diets, having sex, partying far to much, falling in love, being broken hearted and moving from house to house. My first day on the practical job filled me with apprehension but I soon learnt I was a skilled nurse, I learnt quickly, studied hard, took every opportunity I had and fell I love with my occupation. I was a nurse, my life was extraordinary. Finally it made sense, my unique calling this was it....
My fall from grace. I hold my breathe opening an email from new farm clinic three years of communication and two official applications later I finally know if I will have my dream job. I have to read the email twice, once to myself and once to my mother out loud. "we regret to inform you".... Funding, they no longer could fund an education program. I sigh and optimistically mention my other options. It hits me as I walk around the corner to my room, this will not be the first time this happens to me... Funding is cut from everywhere, my first preference rejects me. No one else has vacancies.
I am no longer to be a nurse... I become a check out chick.